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If You Want To Talk To Me After The Show, I'd Be Surprised.
-Mitch Hedberg
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If You Want To Talk To Me
Mitch Hedberg
If You Want To Talk To Me After The Show, I'd Be Surprised.
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My Girlfriend Is Named Lynn. She Spells Her Name "lynn". My Old Girlfriend's Name Is Lyn, Too, But She Spells It "lyn". Every Now And Then I Screw Up, I Call My New Girlfriend By My Old Girlfriend's Name, And She Can Tell Because I Don't Say "n" As Long.
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Girlfriend
Humor
That's Always Disappointed Me, To See A Guy In The Crowd Who Doesn't Look Like He's Having Fun But In General If You Just Listen To The Crowd It Sounds Like They're Having Fun. So I Don't Want To Focus On The One Guy Who's Not Having Fun. And By Closing My Eyes And Just Listening, I Can't Hear That He's Not Laughing But I Can See That He's Not Laughing.
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Eye
Laughing
I Had A Bag Of Fritos, They Were Texas Grilled Fritos. These Fritos Had Grill Marks On Them. They Remind Me Of Summer, When We Used To Fire Up The Barbeque And Throw Down Some Fritos. I Can Still See My Dad With The Apron On. Better Flip That Frito, Dad, You Know How I Like It.
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Summer
Dad
Has Anyone Seen Me On Letterman? Two Million People Watch That Show And I Don't Know Where They Are. You Might Have Seen This Next Comedian On The Late Show, But I Think More People Have Seen Me At The Store. That Should Be My Introduction. "you Might Have Seen This Next Comedian At The Store," And People Would Say "hell Yes I Have!"
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Thinking
I Saw A Commercial For An Above-ground Pool, It Was 30 Seconds Long. Because That's The Maximum Amount Of Time You Can Picture Yourself Having Fun In An Above-ground Pool. If It Was 31 Seconds, The Actor Would Say "the Water Is Only Up To Here? What Do I Do Now? Throw The Ball Back To Jimmy? Or Put Some Goggles On And Look At His Feet?"
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Feet
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