My Father Once Told Me, And It's

Found A Bunch Of Old Shower Caps In My House. Was Gonna Throw Them Out But Realized They Make Excellent Porta Potties For Long Road Trips.

Some People Rely On Rumors And Gossip Because They Are Devoid Of Any Original Thought.

I Just Had A Pedicure. My Feet Are Soft Like A Baby's Behind. If His Ass Was Covered In Calluses.

The Comedy Store - All Three Rooms Were Filled With 800 People In The Room. And During That Time, All These Guys And Some Women, But Mostly Guys Who Weren't Funny Were Doing Stand Up For A Living; They Weren't Accountants, They Were Making $30-$50 Grand A Year On The Road, Or More.

My Father Once Told Me, And It's Stuck With Me To This Day: As You Walk Through Life, Every Time You Fart It Pushes You Forward.