My Son Says I Never Tell Stories

Marriage Is Nature's Way Of Keeping Us From Fighting With Strangers.

We Get The Worrywart, The Hypochondriac, The Money-grubbing Miser, The Intractable Negotiator... Some Would Say Certain Of These Refer To The Stereotypical, Or 'stage' Jew. But Objectively Speaking, The Only Crime In Humor Is An Unfunny Joke.

Let's Face It: It's Difficult Enough To Be Funny Without Worrying About What Is Going To Offend Whom.

As Life's Pleasures Go, Food Is Second Only To Sex. Except For Salami And Eggs. Now That's Better Than Sex, But Only If The Salami Is Thickly Sliced.

My Mother Kept The House Clean And We Ate Good. I Didn't Know We Were Poor Until I Started Giving Interviews.